○ 08: you can't always get what you want
Aug. 19th, 2011 08:45 pmDue to the unpopular nature of "Little Black Raincloud," we're starting a new story tonight.
I really this one is stronger. It has drama, no pop culture references, and it has a better character arc!
[Private to Jane]
I need to tell you something. Can I come see you?
UNTITLED #16
PART ONE
John opened his eyes. His room reflected the city outside: gloomy, dark, and a luring invitation to sleep until the safe dawn. The putrid smell of the city wafted through his door. He sighed and breathed in, chest expanding, and absently turned his head over to his open door. There was dim lighting from a streetlamp outside the cracked hallway window. No wonder it stank.
He was too tired to bother closing it, so instead he shut his eyes with a disgusted frown. His right eye stung suddenly. His lids snapped open and he hissed while trying to rub away the eyelash. John paused and looked at the doorway as something caught the corner of his watering eye, and his whole body went cold and rigid.
A short, black figure sat crouched in the doorway. It didn't move, nor did it make a sound. It was rounded on top. He squinted, reaching for the ball pistol on his nightstand. John couldn't say what the thing was, but it would go away fast.
His fingers twitched over the grip of the gun, but did not close. Something told him not to shoot. Something told him that it would be no use. John's frown tightened, and he swung his legs out of bed.
Come with me.
I really this one is stronger. It has drama, no pop culture references, and it has a better character arc!
[Private to Jane]
I need to tell you something. Can I come see you?
Private
Date: 2011-08-20 01:20 am (UTC)Private
Date: 2011-08-20 01:28 am (UTC)Private
Date: 2011-08-20 01:29 am (UTC)I'll meet you on deck.
Private - Spam?
Date: 2011-08-20 01:36 am (UTC)Two minutes.
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 01:38 am (UTC)Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 01:59 am (UTC)"Hey. You look.. You look really nice today." [He dropped his eyes, then glanced around the deck, then looked back to her again. The following statement tumbled out of his mouth awkwardly.] "It's Eddie."
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 02:01 am (UTC)What is he doing?
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 02:06 am (UTC)Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 02:20 am (UTC)But...if he's trying to take it away from me, that could be a problem. He's lying. [The compliments just went right over her. She didn't care.]
And it's not harmful.
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 03:12 am (UTC)Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 03:41 am (UTC)And yes, I'm sure. I don't use it nearly as much as he thinks. [That's a lie, but she's so used to it by now that it doesn't matter.] And I haven't moved to Lincoln, so there's nothing to worry about. [She stepped forward and looped a finger in his pocket for just a moment.] I'm trusting you to keep him away from me and...to keep telling me what you know.
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 04:19 pm (UTC)"Oh." [He offered lamely as she was coming closer, then his smile wavered out of anxious excitement and he shifted where he stood, waiting and hoping that this might continue in his favor.] "I'll try! I don't really know how to keep him away, especially because he can throw me in Zero pretty easily, but I'll try. For you."
[A dramatic pause.] "And I'll definitely keep telling you everything I find out!"
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 04:40 pm (UTC)So she kept close.]
If he puts you in Zero, I'll let you out. But I do appreciate your help.
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 05:03 pm (UTC)"I'll do whatever I can." [He replied dumbly, caught up in the potential for physical affection.]
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 05:12 pm (UTC)I know you will. But I keep the Lime somewhere he can't find it. And he can't come after me. He's too stupid to really do anything.
[Stepping forward, she kissed him gently, something she had not yet done. But this was serious. If Eddie was going to start rallying people against her, she needed an ally.]
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 06:33 pm (UTC)Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 07:32 pm (UTC)But I should go. Don't want anyone to think that we're planning anything. Shoo. [She smirked and headed towards the door.]
Spam!
Date: 2011-08-20 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-20 01:56 am (UTC)A bard.
Why can I not escape your kind, even here?
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