acertifieduser | ○ 07: i am right, i swear i'm right.

Here's the new serial:

LITTLE BLACK RAINCLOUD
PART THIRTY-TWO

Between then and now, Harold grew up convinced that the Red Hot Chili Peppers song “City of Angels” was written for him alone and often sang it at Tuesday night karaoke: “She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy; lonely as I am, together we cry.” If he knocked back a few drinks in his time at the bar, he would inevitably be taking a cab home in the rain. He always brought an umbrella, just in case. Because his apartment didn't allow pets, he bought a plant once instead. It died two days later, from too much exposure to the sun and heat; the next day, upon his discovery of the mangled, bone dry corpse, it rained to spite him. Harold spent a time convinced of his superiority, believing himself to be akin to Zeus, god of lightning and thunder, or Storm, the X-Man who commanded the weather. Those delusions of grandeur became somewhat muddled when the weather became more of an inconvenience than a benefit, rain storms ruining already terrible days, making him much later to work every day that he overslept his alarm.
Today was one such day of inconvenience. His misery caused the rain and that water produced resentment and even greater feelings of sadness. Instead of likening himself to Zeus, these days he settled for Eeyore, from Winnie the Pooh, trying to take the whole thing in stride. 'At least Eeyore had better friends,' he thought as he resigned himself to his fate, lowered his briefcase, and began to walk home in the rain.

I hope everyone's alright. There's not a lot that we have here, but we can at least be grateful for our health, right?

[ooc; Eddie is affected. He was raised without the drugs and on a good path. He aspires to be a writer as is too concerned with happiness and optimism to ever care about money and things like that. He's a total pushover and will agree to pretty much any favor (outside of sexual ones), so feel free to have a history of bossing him around. Also, assume his writing is a regular network post that people can choose to look forward to or be totally sick of.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think it's great so far! Just as a note, you might want to try to limit your pop culture references. I don't know who Storm is or what an X-Man is. Just make sure to consider your audience.

Sorry. I didn't really think about that. I guess I do this to learn things, right? Thanks for the feedback, Emil.

You're welcome, Eddie. And hey, that's why there's a rough draft and why editors have a job.

That's true. Although I guess I have to work on that kind of stuff if I want to maybe try to become an editor too.. but, focus on one thing at a time. For the next one, I'll keep my audience in mind and try to limit the references.

How are you doing, man?

(no subject)

givemeafight.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 04:57 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 05:01 (UTC) - Expand

givemeafight.livejournal.com - 2011-08-20 00:09 (UTC) - Expand

So this is where bad writers go when they die.

I really think it's getting better, Arthur. I feel like there's a real sense of imagery here.

There's a real sense of something, alright...

How many English teachers did you drive to suicide?

Edited 2011-08-19 04:56 (UTC)

You should either give constructive feedback or not give feedback at all, man. There's no reason to be mean about it. [BAWWW. DREAM CRUSHER.]

paradoxlol - 2011-08-19 05:05 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 05:11 (UTC) - Expand

paradoxlol - 2011-08-19 05:14 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

paradoxlol - 2011-08-19 15:03 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 17:05 (UTC) - Expand

darknessb4me - 2011-08-19 08:50 (UTC) - Expand

paradoxlol - 2011-08-19 15:00 (UTC) - Expand

absolutely :]

darknessb4me - 2011-08-20 01:59 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-20 02:01 (UTC) - Expand

Oi. You wanna fat lip, Artie?

Is that supposed to intimidate me?

It were a warnin' to get my inmate's life outta your mouth is what it was.

paradoxlol - 2011-08-19 16:17 (UTC) - Expand

19centconstable.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 16:45 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 17:06 (UTC) - Expand

19centconstable.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 18:55 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 19:05 (UTC) - Expand

You know the song's called "Under the Bridge", right man?

[He just... eyerolls at your writing most of the time, Eddie, sorry :c]

It is?

Yep. I had this friend back home; the Chili Peppers were his thing for a while.

Oh. Thanks for telling me, man. I'll fix it for the final, published version.

hatestriangles - 2011-08-19 15:19 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 17:07 (UTC) - Expand

That's not making me particularly excited for the next installment. The last installment was interesting. How come you didn't build on that?

I did build on it! I had to explain the character's motivations more.

...how by turning him into an emotion-filled jerk? This reads like something written by a Linkin Park fan.

Why can't we see more with the lion?

No, it's.. he's troubled. His moods control the weather! I haven't gotten there yet! That was supposed to be tomorrow's portion.

Because the lion died, remember? He saved the rabbit!

expectremorse.livejournal.com - 2011-08-19 22:58 (UTC) - Expand

acertifieduser.livejournal.com - 2011-08-20 00:36 (UTC) - Expand

Oh yes, just settle for what you have.

It's not settling! I'm still pursuing my dream even here. I just mean that we shouldn't complain too much when bad things happen. 'It could be worse,' as my dad used to say. Or maybe it was a character from a movie; I forget. My point is, we should be grateful for what we have. That's all.